A conversation with my boss:
Steve: Mike, what are those used styrofoam take-out containers doing in the garbage?
Me: I threw them away...
Steve: You're not supposed to throw 'em away, we re-use 'em.
Me: ...Steve they're full of meat juice and day-old condiments...
Steve: You're supposed to rinse 'em out and put 'em back by the salads!
Me: Okay, gotcha.
Steve: [Stares at me for a few seconds.]
Me: ...do... do you want me... to fish those ones out of the garbage and clean them?
Steve: Duh! If you wanna keep this job Mike, you'd better start using your head.
Well guys, it has happened.
I wanted an album, but I couldn’t find it for free online. I never thought I’d see the day. I just… I don’t know.
you’ve got to burn straight up and down and then maybe sidewise for a while...– Charles Bukowski (via runnnwiththehunted)
Tiger got to hunt, Bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder, “Why, why, why?” Tiger got to sleep, Bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.
Just, like, as a heads up, I will be spending at...
Sometimes I think that’s the trouble with the world: too many people in high...– Kurt Vonnegut
THE YEAR 2999
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: I'mma fuck your bitch nigga, I'mma fuck your ho nigga
Twamps in my bag like I'm sipping on a fo' nigga
Finna hit the room, with your bitch started sucking
I'm gold grill shining, fuck her sister and her cousin
No I ain't no bitch and no I ain't no snitch
I'm fucking on that bitch and then I make her strip
I'm twerkin' on that bitch, I'm working on that bitch
She sucking on my dick, cause I'm a pretty bitch
WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME, I IMPLODED FROM THE...
When you told me you loved the beach I set off an a-bomb on every coastline. When you told me you loved the grass I set off weed killer in all the water pipes. When you told me you loved the sun I sent astronauts to extinguish it. When you told me you loved me I imploded from the stomach out.
Sometimes, when a cop won’t change their mind, and they’re stopping...– Tobias John Calzarette
The Exhibitionist! NOW IN PDF!
0equals1: You can now get a copy of the newest 0=1 release from the virtual zines page HERE. Put it on your ipod, iphone, ipad, kindle, television, sousaphone, and whatever other trinket that will accept the .pdf format. Enjoy! -JD
"All who wonder are not lost."
-my Facebook newsfeed. ….. There should be a mandatory English exam to get on the Internet. Like, it’s not a challenge. It’s the language you speak every day. Stop embarrassing me in front of the Europeans. They already think we’re all dumb.
Just for clarification:
If you’re following this blog, you should be following this blog: www.0equals1.tumblr.com That’s where relevant things are posted. This is where I reblog too many KIDS gifs.